What I wish I knew when I was 21

Yesterday, my baby sister turned 21.

Clearly, 'baby sister' isn't an appropriate phrase any more.

Part of me, though, will always think of her in those terms. She is the only person who I have known for their entire life, in the sense that I can remember every year of her 21 years. My brother was born when I was 3, so I don't have any memories of him until he was a few years old. My brother and I grew up together; my sister grew up with us watching over her.

Yesterday our celebrations were family-focused, with dinner and cake in the evening. The main celebrations are happening at the end of the week. My sister is the first of us siblings to have a 21st party and in true fashion she has jumped in to do it properly. There will be 70 people, a hired venue, 84 cupcakes (which we will be making...), and speeches by an assortment of people that includes me.

In other words, we are sisters but there are some pronounced differences between us :-)

Today, I want to write a post for her. In addition to being the only person who I have known for their entire life, she may just become the second person (after Mr Bite) to know about this blog...

What I wish I knew when I was 21

It’s ok to make your own path. Fitting in with others can only take you so far - and it’s not always the best thing to do.

The little things count so much more than the big things. Find pleasure in something every day. Make time for the things you enjoy.

Politeness generally pays off. Rudeness may backfire. That applies to others too. Rude people are likely to get their punishment without you becoming involved.

Real friends accept you for who you are, even if you look, act or sound different to them. Real friends deserve to be treasured.

Acceptance is a hard thing to achieve. It’s also one of the most important things we can do. If you can accept yourself, others and the world - it makes a huge difference.

The world is a big place. Some problems fade when they are put into context.

Whilst it’s good to put things in context, it’s also ok to have a bad day. You might still have problems, even if other people have bigger ones. 

Take risks sometimes. Playing it safe only gets you so far. Follow your dreams. 

Play it safe sometimes. Risk isn’t always the right choice. Trust yourself to pick the path that matches the occasion.

Have enough confidence in yourself to pick yourself up if you take a risk and it doesn’t work out. 

Because the world is a big place, there are many ways to live one’s life. Travel, work, relationships…there are a multitude of options and none of them are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.

Care about things. About people, causes, events, philosophies. Not caring is safer, but caring is more rewarding.

Allow yourself to love, even though you might get hurt.

Expand your horizons. Try something new. Read the news. Stay tethered to the bigger picture.

Know that money doesn’t buy happiness, even though it sometimes seems like it might. Also know that society carries certain requirements and commitments, which money can aid. Know what is ‘enough’ for you, with income and with possessions, and don’t be afraid to pick a different ‘enough’ level to those around you.

Never be afraid to change, and always seek to trust yourself.

Happy birthday!

What do you wish you knew at 21?

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